Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to discuss a new music streaming device from Spotify and Liquid Death. The Eternal Playlist Urn, a music-playing cremation urn (yes, a real one) is meant to help you enjoy your music long after you shuffle off of this mortal coil.
«With the Eternal Playlist Urn, now the dead can listen to their favorite jams for all of eternity,» Liquid Death said in a statement. «Upgrade any post-life experience with this latest revolution in being dead.»
The urn has a wireless Bluetooth speaker embedded in the lid and can be charged with a USB-C cable. Liquid Death says there will be only 150 urns available for purchase, priced at $495 each.
The Eternal Playlist Urn is the latest creation from a beverage company that likes to push the envelope with a morbid motif. Its drink lineup includes flavors such as Berry It Alive, Convicted Melon and Severed Lime.
Admittedly, an urn seems an odd spot for music, which is likely the joke. Although some people bury their loved one’s urn with cremains inside, others keep Grandpa’s ashes displayed on their shelf or fireplace mantel, so at least that way, you’d be able to hear the tunes.
Create your afterlife playlist
You may not want to buy a musical cremation urn, but Spotify has another gimmick. It’ll help you create the playlist it thinks you’ll want to listen to after death. Go to the Eternal Playlist Generator on the Spotify mobile app, then select Let’s Go at the button at the bottom. It’ll create your eternal playlist after you answer some questions.
The first question was, «What’s your eternal vibe?» I chose Very, very chill. Then, «Fill in the blank: Rest in ——.» I chose Bass. «What’s your getting-ready-to-haunt music?» Pump up tracks. Lastly, «What’s your go-to ghost noise?» I selected Bwaah Mwahahaha.
Spotify then gave me my eternal playlist, which included Tears by Sabrina Carpenter, Attention by Charlie Puth and That’s What I Like by Bruno Mars, among others. It’s not a list of death-themed tunes, although there are certainly enough songs like Seasons in the Sun, Don’t Fear the Reaper and Tears in Heaven that could’ve made a death-themed list. Apparently, it’s supposed to be the list your cremains wouldn’t mind hearing over and over again.
I’m ready for the urn! Whenever that may be.